What becoming a mom has taught me…

The first thing it taught me was that you do not become a mother the day your child is born, you become a mother the day your baby is conceived. From that day forward, you are no longer making decision solely for yourself. You are now making decisions primarily for your baby and secondarily for yourself.

Becoming a mother has removed any judgments I had previously. It has helped me understand that you do not know everyone’s situation, you also do not know why anyone is making the choices they are for their child, their family or themselves. Each child is different, has different needs, tolerances, interests, activity levels, and that is just to name a few. At times, being a mother is difficult. It challenges you, it forces you to make decisions on the fly and do everything you can to protect this precious being that is of the utmost importance to you.

I have learned that in order to be the best mother possible I sometimes need to be selfish. I need to take time to myself each day. My son needs time without me. He needs one on one time with his dad. He needs me to be my best self so I can be the best for him.

I also need to be selfish when it comes to my sons needs. I have learned that it is okay to say no to plans if they are going to completely disrupt my sons schedule. Sometimes my son needs time with just his dad and I, so most weekends need to be dedicated for family time and that is okay. Some days he needs cuddles and dedicated attention. Other times he needs me at a distance to allow him to explore independently, while knowing I’m only an arms reach away. His needs always come first.

Becoming a mom has brought me complete joy. I am happier. I am kinder. I am more accepting. I am more myself, then I have ever been. It has brought out the best parts of me, and there is nothing greater then that.

No parent is perfect. You will never make the right decision every time, but you will always make the best decision for your child in that moment. You will never be calm 100% of the time. You will have days that you are cranky and frustrated. You will not look put together all the time, in fact a lot of days will consist of a pony tail, a quickly washed face and comfy clothes. The only guarantee is that you will be perfect for your child, and he/she will be perfect for you.

Most importantly, becoming a mom has taught love, in ways that I never knew existed. The love you experience with your child knows no bounds, it is the greatest feeling you will ever experience.

I am so grateful to have the greatest gift imaginable, Milo. Today I get to remember that he is the greatest gift I could have ever dreamed of. Everyday I get to hold him and see his smiling face looking up at me (or the slamming doors for his privacy in the future when he’s much older and I’m much less cool) is a day to remember how fortunate I am to be his momma.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mommas out there. Especially those closest to me – my mom, G.G, Molly, Raquel, my aunts, and those no longer here on earth, Nanny and aunt Heather. I love you all and so does Milo. Thank you for helping shape me so I can be the best momma to my sweet boy.

xoxo,

To all the mommas who don’t realize how perfect they are

the perfectly, imperfect match.

To Mark:

My love, my soon to be husband, and my best friend,

At the young age of 27,  I have been fortunate to experience so much.

My experiences have been both wonderful and heartbreaking, but I am fortunate for all of them.

From these experiences, I have discovered life, love, heartache and all that falls in between. I have traveled. I have taken risks. I have made mistakes. I have met wonderful people. From this I now know the type of person I want to surround myself with, and who I deserve to be surrounded by.

Most importantly, I have learned about love and the rareness of true love.

True love will come with challenges, risk and most importantly – a beautiful life.

Nothing is more accurate then the saying “nothing worth having is easy”.  If it is worth having, you will be willing to conquer all challenges to achieve the end goal. If it is worth having, you will hold on regardless if it is difficult. If it is worth having, nothing will stand in the way.

The biggest risk I have taken in my life was taking the opportunity to meet someone that I knew, I would fall in love with. Not only did I know I would fall in love with this person, I knew that in order to have a future, there would be compromise and challenges. In my heart, I knew that there would be no compromise, or challenge that would be more difficult then the regret I would have not taking this risk.

So I took the plunge.

I fell, and I fell hard.

I also learned so much about myself, in such a short amount of time. I learned that I can give my whole self to someone and not lose one ounce of who I am. I learned that when you are truly in love, you accept everything about a person, nothing scares you, nothing can take that love away. I learned that you accept, and you are accepted. Most importantly, I learned that no amount of distance or time spent apart will change how you feel.

This year, I fell in love. I fell in love, in a way I have not yet experienced.

Most importantly I found my perfect love, we are two people that are perfectly imperfect. Even though our love holds its own challenges, I know that with patience and trust – we will create our own perfectly imperfect life and nothing else matters.

xoxo,

to my perfect match

reflection.

It amazes me to look back on the changes I have seen over the past year.

The people who have come in and out of my life.

The challenges I have taken on.

The risks I have taken.

When there is change, we often reflect back on our choices. Did we make the right decisions, did we say ‘yes’ at the right times, did we walk away when we should have?

I believe we make these choices because of what was ‘meant to be’. We make the choices in our life to take risks, test the unknown, fall in love, and make life altering choices for a reason.

When we take the time to reflect we  must remember that we are taking a path that is meant for us and it is important to be proud of this.

Taking risks and going after what we want is what life is truly about. I did this on many occasions this past year and I learned so much because of it. When things did not go exactly as planned, it was because there was something better waiting. By going after that something better it resulted in amazing things for me.

My career has taken a new direction.

My love to explore and travel is starting to become a reality.

My connections to those that can influence my life in nothing but a positive manner are starting to evolve.

But most of all, I am proud of the person I am becoming. Not because I am becoming the person those around me want to be. But because I am becoming the person I know I can be by surrounding myself with all the things I need to help me get there.

Change is not always easy. But life is not always easy either and we need to grow from each experience and choose the life we deserve.

When I reflect back on this past year, there were a lot of hardships. Each one of these hardships has led me to an even better and brighter future.

xoxo,

to always embracing change.

if..

Today I saw a quote, “If life can remove someone you never dreamed of losing, it can replace them with someone you never dreamt of having.”

We often hold on to those that at one point touched a part of our lives. Or, maybe we are still holding on to the part they touched and letting go is extremely difficult. We must remember that if that person at one point gave us a reason to consider removing them from our lives, then there is a reason for this.

If ever a person makes you question why they are a part of your life, you should question why you want to continue to allow them to be a part of your life.

Each and every one of us are too special to let those that do not see our worth be a part of our lives. When you love someone, care about them, feel connected to them, it is almost impossible to see the “bad” parts of them. If there are parts of a person that you can dream of losing then you need to question if they really deserve to be a part of you.

If you ever wonder if there is any one or any thing out there that you could not even dream of having, then trust there is. Trust that you deserve better then you can ever imagine. Because if you can imagine it, then you can find it.

More importantly, stop wondering if..

Stop asking if..

Stop waiting for if..

Remember that you ARE important..

You DO deserve the best..

And if you are wondering if the best is yet come, then it WILL come.

Most importantly, remember that whenever you are questioning what is around you and wondering what could be, that is your heart, your instincts, telling you that what you have now is not what is meant for you.

So keep dreaming, keep reaching and wait for all the wonderful things coming your way. Because you deserve the best and never settle for less.

xoxo,

to stop wondering if

Silence.

Do any of you have a hard time keeping silent?

For so long I kept quiet about how I felt. Whether the words of another person hurt me. Or maybe noticing the judging eyes of others. I often stayed quiet. I avoided sharing my opinions and would often just agree with those around me. Then one day I realized, I was hurting myself in doing so.

Our words and actions are the way in which we can express ourselves. It has taken me a long time, a lot of hurt, a lot of sadness and a lot of struggles, but over the past two years, I have found my voice. I have learned that sometimes there is strength in silence, while other times there is strength in our words.

I read a quote that stated “Our silence says just as much about your character as your words do.” My interpretation of this is that there are times to be silent and times to speak, both have meaningful impacts. Those who have gotten to know me, know that I will express how I feel. I try to guide those around me in the right direction, call you out when you are wrong, most importantly admit when I am wrong, especially to those I care about most.

Because I have learned to express myself so freely with my words, when I am silent, that tends to create the biggest impact.

If I am choosing to be silent, to shy away from those closest to me, know it is for a reason. My silence is always purposeful. Possibly I need time to reflect. Or maybe I am at the point where I do not believe you are deserving of my words. Regardless, I have realized that by being silent maybe I am not being silent at all, but expressing even more with less.

Recognize that the words you share or do not share impact those around you and speak multitudes of your character. You do not need to say many words or any at all to show the world who you are. Choosing the right times to speak and the rights times to be quiet will speak wonders and impact each and every person around you.

Shout to the skies as necessary and find that quiet and cozy corner when needed. But, always stay true to you and share with the world the beautiful character you withhold.

xoxo,

to your inner you.

“authenticity:…”

“knowing who you are and being brave enough to live it…”

How fitting. The past few months have not been the easiest.

There have been lots of changes in my life. All good. But of course with good, there are challenges.

The adaptability of the people around me because of these changes has not been as easy as I would have hoped, but it has taught me a lot.

One. If people really care about you, they will adapt to the changes in your life. They will cheer for you. They will be proud of your accomplishments.

Two. There will always be people who act jealous when things are going well for you and there is really nothing  you can do to change that.

What makes me unique, what drives me and what pushes me to be my best self is different from the next person and is what makes me, me. It is tough to be you, to be unique, to be “authentic” in today’s world. There is so much judgement, so much competition and such little support.

While I do love a little competition, I do not agree with the unsupported nature of others. Being competitive is meant to bring out your best. But most are competitive not to be the best they can be, but to bring down those that are rising above trying to be their best selves.

People may be competitive by nature, but I also believe we are naturally supportive.

From the loss, heartache, and challenges I have faced, I have learned to embrace each others strengths and weaknesses. To embrace what makes us different and to strive to be our best selves because of our differences.

I use to want to hide everything that differentiated me from others. So concerned of those that judged me, those who would talk about me, laugh about everything that makes me, me. I then realized that these are things that make me stand out and define who I am. If someone does not like these things, then too bad. I am me, and I am proud of who I am.

I am a good person. I am a kind person. I love with my whole heart. I care with all that I have. I embrace others and all they have to offer. I am authentic, and so are you.

I use to want to hide all that made me different from those around me. I wanted to be like everyone else, until i realized being like everyone else meant that I wasn’t me.

Today I am proud to be authentic. I am proud to be brave enough to embrace who I am and all that I stand for. I am proud to surround myself with people who are brave enough to be themselves and never deny themselves the ability to show the world who they are.

xoxo,

to being authentic.

soulmates

From day one we are exposed to the media, peers, mentors, etc. who tell us we must find our soulmate. We must find the one that captures our soul, the person we are destined to be with and that to have our happy ever after we MUST find this person

But what does it truly mean to meet your soulmate?

What actually does soulmate mean…?

To start; I do not believe that what soulmate means to me is the same meaning to you. The way we interpret love and connection, the way we experience life, differs from person to person.

So how can anyone tell us what it means to meet your soulmate? How can anyone tell us that this person is the person we are meant to spend our lives with?

I have experienced heartache, triumph, love, failure and everything in between in my short 25 years and the one thing I can promise you, is that nothing is certain and what you feel comes from within. No one can predict or tell you exactly what may occur.

I have learned that nothing is permanent. You cannot predict the future. You may find your “soulmate” today and this may change tomorrow. This is why I believe that we do not have just one soulmate.

One soulmate; that only means that our lives are changed by just one individual.

My life has been changed by so many. Impacted by so many. Influenced by so many.

This is why I believe that we have many soulmates.

Each one of them impact us differently. Each one holds a unique place in our hearts. Each one helps us grow into our best self.

I believe we are meant to connect with people deeply.

Have you ever walked into a room and felt a persons presence? Known when they were looking in your direction? Have you ever felt a persons stare from across the room?

I bet you have not felt that from just one individual in your life.

That feeling you get when you can feel another persons energy is amazing.

You may feel this with only one person or you may feel this with many people throughout your life. Whether it is with one person or ten it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that in that moment, at that specific point in your life, that person is the most important person, if only for a second.

I have come to realize that we must show people the importance they hold in our lives, if only for a moment. Do not take the special ones for granted, because they are special for a reason.

I have also come to realize that soulmate means something different to all of us.

To me, it means a person that captures my soul. A person that draws me in. A person that I think of often. A person that I hope to always be a part of my life and that I would do anything to keep.

But at the end of they day we have to remember to not allow the world around us to define what a soulmate should be. A soulmate should be whatever it is we want them to be.

xoxo,

to finding many soulmates

STOP waiting for friday

STOP

We often wait for Friday. For Summer. For Birthday’s. For Christmas.

We are waiting so often that we forget to live in the moment.

Do you realize how many moments pass us by that are life altering, exciting and memorable because we are waiting for Friday?

Why do we even wait for Friday?

Is it because society has deemed Friday to be a ‘good’ day. Why can’t anything great Happen Monday-Thursday?

Have you ever noticed that when you are waiting for something it rarely happens?

Not only does it rarely happen, but think back to the saying “a watched pot never boils” the longer you ‘watch’ or wait for something to happen, the longer it takes for it to happen. Stop waiting for greatness to be achieved, for happiness to take place, to fall in love..

Start living life one day at a time, set goals you can accomplish little by little, day by day, stop focusing on the end but focus on the progress that occurs as each day passes.

When you start living in the now, you will start appreciating life’s small accomplishments. You will start being HAPPY.

I am a true believer that lack of happiness is often associated with looking so far ahead that we miss all of life’s blessing that are right in front of us.

We forget to appreciate ‘the little things’ because we are so focused on the ‘BIG THINGS’. But we must not forget that it is the little things that make up the big things.

It is the small steps we take each day.

That smile from a stranger.

The touch of another human.

The conquering of step 1 of our goal.

The connection with a new place.

Each and every feeling that passes through us, guides us towards happiness.

So STOP WAITING and start living.

XOXO,

to embracing the little things

the best year yet..

25 has been the best year yet.

The day after my birthday someone had said to me that 25 would be a good year. I honestly thought sure.. I already felt I had my life in order. I have a good job, I am a home owner, and I was starting to get a pretty good routine with my fitness and nutrition.

Shortly after this conversation, I had a mindset change, completely unrelated to that conversation, it was just something I had decided was necessary.

So I began to exhibit and exude a positive energy.

Eliminate those that were negatively impacting my life and bringing me down.

I began to attract positive people into my life and make choices that impacted me positively as well.

This doesn’t mean I am perfect, I still make mistakes, sometimes I am sad or angry, but for the most part I have turned my mindset almost an entire 180.

And I must admit, that person was right. 25 has been a really good year. The best year.

I finally know who I am, and the person I want to be. I go after what I want and I let nothing hold me back.  I allow myself to love, be honest, and connect with people and again I do not hold back. I am not ashamed to share my thoughts or feelings and I own all my thoughts and feelings.

I have progressed in my career, and I have progressed personally. I have so much to look forward to and so much to embrace over the next 18 months.

More than this, I fully intend to continue to strive to be more successful. There are so many more dreams that I want to chase and goals to crush.

“I want to go on a road trip someday. Alone or with someone I love…” I want to chase my dreams, chase the sun and watch the clouds. I want to listen to my favourite albums, sing along to my favourite lyrics and dance freely. I want to meet new people. I want to love new people. I want to connect with the world, with the places I go and with the people around me. I want to make memories with myself and make memories with those I meet along the way. “I want to feel alive..”

I am so excited for future years, because I truly believe that with positive thinking that good karma will come around and I will continue to see personal growth and continue to reach my goals.

I hope that I will find others that want to join me on my journey and are willing to embrace me and themselves. Together we can create new memories, go on adventures and fulfill our greatest dreams.

xoxo,

to the best year yet.

your flaws are perfect..

I read a quote today, “Your flaws are perfect for the heart that is meant to love you.”

This can be applied much beyond your “significant other” that does or will love you. This should be applied to all of those in your life.

We are all made up flaws, and perfection. We all hold traits that are viewed as perfect to others, and traits that may be viewed as completely imperfect.

It is when our imperfections draw people in that reveals those that truly love us.

When I think about those that matter most to me, as much as they may drive me crazy, confuse me, irritate me and at times make me want to scream, I love them. I unconditionally, and undoubtedly LOVE them.

I would go to the end of the earth for them and even when they make a mess of my kitchen and leave dishes unwashed, I cannot help but love them to pieces.

I have come to the realization of a couple things on my journey to living a happier and healthier life.

The first is that I do not want people in my life if they cannot accept that I am not perfect. Sometimes I am annoying, sometimes I make mistakes. But I will love you wholeheartedly and I would go to the end of the earth for you if you are a part of my tribe. If I am speaking honestly, I quite possibly would, even if you are not.

Secondly, once I stopped focusing on my imperfections and over thinking every word and action I made, I started to love myself. I started to embrace my flaws and set positive goals. I then started recognizing the triumphs and my progress started become much more evident.

I realized that my flaws are perfect. They are a part of who I am. There are many things about me that are imperfect. But I am loving, caring, honest, and always ready to embrace others. Most of all, I am willing to accept others flaws and not judge others for their imperfections, but see them as unique characteristics of that individual.

It’s not always easy, I have bad days that I cannot help but notice my flaws, but most days I embrace them and move forward.

You should to.

Because your flaws are perfect. Because your flaws make you, you. Because your flaws will attract the people that will love you unconditionally.

xoxo,

to being flawsome.