having a big heart

I read an article today. It was titled “Don’t Apologize for Having a Big Heart.”

It really got me thinking, because I sincerely related to this article.

It spoke of being affected and attached to people. It spoke of falling without holding back.

When I care about someone, I ALWAYS do this.

Maybe I am falling for you as a friend, a lover, a mentor, a mentee. Whatever it may be, I always fall hard. I am affected by all around me, even those I do not “fall” for, I do still get attached.

I will not apologize for this and neither should you.

Having a big heart, a heart of gold, is what makes you who you are.

You are a wonderful person and there is no reason to change who you are.

Some people may get overwhelmed by your attachment or quick commitment to the relationship you share (whatever that may be).

Just because they get overwhelmed does not mean you should apologize for this.

Some people may put a wall up when you start to connect to them. This is because they are scared of the connection, not because there is anything wrong with you. Help them become comfortable with the connection by being proud of the person you are and loving even more.

Those of us with big hearts do not love everyone, but the ones we do love, we love hard and we value them.

Having a big heart means we are in touch with our emotions, we know how to relate and connect to others. We know when to embrace and hold back. We know when to sympathize. We know when to advise or listen. We just know what they need because we have allowed ourselves to connect deeply.

Most of all we know how to protect. We protect the people in our lives. We shelter them and let them fall around us whenever they may need to. The people in our lives know they can lean on us, confide in us and no matter what we will not judge and will continue to love them.

So please, never apologize for having a big heart. Understand that for some this may be difficult to accept. Some people cannot share and spread their emotions and love as easily, but that does not mean we are wrong in doing so.

Always love BIG, DEEPLY and without EXPECTATION.

xoxo,

to those of us with big hearts.

time doesn’t heal everything..

Despite what we are told, time does not heal everything.

That doesn’t mean this is a negative statement. In fact, for me, this is positive.

Time has not healed the hurt I experienced, but time has taught me to embrace it.

We all encounter traumatic events in our lives. What is traumatic for me, may not be traumatic for you. But, we all face traumatic events, this I am sure of.

We have events that challenge us, make us question our beliefs and morals, make us question our strength. Time may not heal all hurt, but it does make us stronger.

With time, we learn to live through the pain.

With time, we learn how to move forward despite the days we want to so badly give up.

With time, we learn how to grow stronger.

No matter how many minutes, hours, days, years have passed, I have never stopped hurting. But I have learned how to take that pain and create positive energy from it.

I have learned how to take the pain and use it to build up others and push myself to be better despite it.

I have learned to hide the pain, not always, but most days. I have learned to forget about my pain and help others with theirs. I have learned how to turn my pain into strength.

I never realized how strong I was until I had to wake up, live life, and move forward despite the deep desire to stay hidden in my room.

I also never realized how strong I was until I loved others deeply despite my fear of experiencing the heartache from one single day. To be able to love when you know how it feels to have not only your world, but your heart shattered is true strength.

Realizing my strength and being proud of it has been a difficult journey. A difficult journey that I am so proud of how much I have overcome. It has not been an easy journey but it has been amazing and I have realized both my strengths and weaknesses.

True strength can only be realized when we identify our weaknesses.

But, time does not always heal. I still hurt. I still wonder. I still cry.

I will never stop hurting, wondering or crying. But, I will draw from all of this and push forward.

I will push forward and push those around me to move forward as well.

Because time does not always heal but it does build strength.

xoxo,

to being stronger.

life is about…

This will be different for each of us.

BUT.. the actual conclusion of what “Life is about..” should result in the same thoughts for us all.

Life is about doing the things that make us happy, make the people we love happy, and push us to our limits.

For me life is about “trusting my feelings, taking risks, losing and finding happiness, appreciating the memories, learning from the past, and realizing people change.”

I saw this quote and all I could think about was how true this was to me.

Over the past year, I have learned to trust my feelings. I will feel and love on my own accord. No one will influence this. I will love you because I choose to love you, I will dislike you because I choose to dislike you. No one will influence these feelings. I will share these feelings. I will express how I feel, and I will not be ashamed of my feelings, I will trust them and trust my instincts in who to trust and who to hold at arms length.

WILL take risks. I will say yes when I am scared, and I will step out of my comfort zone. I will push myself to be better and I will do things that may not always be easy, but will be necessary. I will make mistakes, and I will own those mistakes. I WILL do things that are scary and out of the norm to challenge myself and be the best me I can be.

Sometimes I will find happiness, sometimes I will lose it. I will not be afraid to lose happiness. I will reach out, I will try to connect and I will make choices that will add to my happiness.

Appreciate the memories.. I will try, yes TRY to appreciate the memories and stop dwelling on the pain.

The pain… Such a difficult thing to let go. I will focus on the good times, the memories that have made me the person I am today and appreciate that all I have experienced. All I have discovered, all the laughs, heartaches, tears, that make me who I am and I will appreciate this.

PROMISE to  learn from my mistakes. I will admit when I make mistakes, correct the action and be better next time. Mistakes will be made, and learning from them shows your integrity and commitment to being the best you can be.

People change, and that is okay. I will still love and support you. If I did not love you, I will open my heart to you. Sometimes people make mistakes, sometimes they come back better than ever. I will be ready to accept each and every person with open arms because people can change. But, you must want to change for you. Never change for anyone else.

But really, what is life about… Life is about connecting. Life is about loving. Life is about experiencing.

So connect with amazing people.

Love every soul that touches and impacts your life.

Experience all the amazing places, people and emotions out there.

Most of all be open to anything, anyone and everything in between.

XOXO,

filling my life with love, life and adventures.

so what, i’m sensitive.

I am highly sensitive.

I feel deeply. I overthink sometimes, okay a lot of the time. I love hard. I am emotional. I feel every word, every action and all the energy that surrounds me.

At one point in my life, I was ashamed of this.

I was ashamed, that a song, book, conversation could touch my heart in such a way that would bring tears to my eyes. In a way that would make my heart smile, ache, give me goosebumps.  I was ashamed that I felt so deeply for things that others did not.

But now I embrace this.

I stand strong and proud of the sensitive being I am.

It allows me to love deeply. To love all those important in my life, deeply.

If you enter my life, if you let me in, I promise to love and care for you. To be there to listen, to empathize or sympathize with you. To offer advice, or guide you to those who can give you the best advice. I promise to support you.

Being sensitive allows me to open my heart to those who need it most. I may not always have the answer, I may not always know the right things to say, but I will try my hardest to be there for you. To hold you when you need to be held and to give you space when you need space.

I am honest.

As a sensitive person I am honest, sometimes too honest. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I offer my true thoughts. I do not hide how I am feeling. If you ask for my opinion, I give it. Because I truly believe that being honest is the best way to show someone they can trust you. To show a person they can turn to you and you will tell them what they need to hear whether that may be good or bad.

I notice too much. I feel too intensely. I pay attention to all that is around me. I pick up on cues that most hope will go unnoticed and others choose to ignore.

I apologize. Second guess. Question.

I never stop doing the above three things.

Because while I will not apologize for who I am, I do understand that this can be overwhelming for others. I will ask too many questions, apologize a thousand times and second guess that thought I shared with you. I do all this because I am aware of the emotions and behaviours of others. I am aware that while I may want a response to these, others do not, they do not need a response or understand the need for one.

Being sensitive means that I understand I am not perfect, I understand others will not get it.

But it also means that I will love you with every ounce of my being. I would do anything for those I care about.

It means that I have a heart of gold.

I will love hard, dream wide and experience deeply. Being sensitive means I am strong.

It means that I am willing to give you my heart and accept that I will not receive yours in return. Being sensitive means I am okay with this.

Never be ashamed of being sensitive. Be PROUD. You are strong, you are willing to love, to care, to let in people who may not even know you exist.

This shows your true colours. It shows the world the wonderful human being you are. You are special. There are few of you out there, and you are still willing to be you and love strangers because your soul will not allow any different.

Embrace this amazing trait and strive to shine and expose this to all.

Being sensitive doesn’t mean you are weak. It doesn’t mean you are damaged. It means you love intensely, think deeply and embrace the touchy-feely that most repulse.

Above all, be proud of who you. Whether you are sensitive or “anti”- sensitive. Be proud of the person you are and accept those that are DIFFERENT then you. It takes all kinds to make this world the place it is. We must accept and embrace each other.

And last, but not least, never forget to love. Sensitive or not, always love.

XOXO,

wearing my heart on my sleeve.